The Story of Care ambassadors have written poems responding to Mental Health Awareness Week 2022 (9-15 May) from a care perspective.
Mariam:
Pregnancy is the best time in the world,
According to some
How could I possibly not be excited?
How do I explain, my stomach churns
Responsible for a life,
Whilst still so young
Graciously growing,
Mornings once glory
My life,
Is a terrible sad story
Abused, amused
Left and bruised
The victim does as the narcissist says
Never let the narcissist, get in your head
For it’s all a ploy
Just to get your to bed
Obnoxiously pedantic
Hatred loathing, fills your head
Self confidence, passion
All turns to dread
And finally you notice…
You’ve lost all your family friends
Faith and love, all now dead
The fight for survival,
Miniscule hope
Bears no ends
A warped sense of reality
Where is the end?
I just want my mum, my home my friends
A life growing inside you,
A responsibility that bears no end
The bruises you cover
The fear of men
Unfathomable truths
But no one listens,
As to them
I’m just a youth
Self reliance, darkness
All became my muse
A new life is born
And no more, will I lose
My baby, my life,
The rose rose out the concrete floor
Shackles finally broken
It’s time to take off the disguise
And put the past to bed
No more will I hide.
Nor more will I be pushed aside.
Life with EUPD by Jake:
All alone, not knowing how to feel.
Who am I?
My life doesn’t seem real.
Emotions and identity,
shows who I am.
I can’t control these,
I can’t function without a plan.
Impulsive and trust issues
are a part of me,
these episodes of emotions and feelings
make me feel weak.
Rage, panic, loneliness, sorrow, abandonment,
the diagnosis I didn’t want to have,
Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder
is what it’s known as.
Living minute by minute,
not knowing who I’ll wake up as.
Will I be hateful or depressed,
I can’t let the cat out of the bag.
Stuck in my head, with no control,
meds to help me, but I become numb.
This life of mine, it cannot be cured.
I live with this everyday,
sooner or later I’ll have to let it surface.
Robyn:
Our thoughts are like birds in our minds
Some fly past and stay. While some fly straight past.
The birds that stay could be our greatest treasures. These aren’t just friends and family.
These are the simple things – the birds and the flowers. Compassion for those we love and those who are important to us. Patient for those we wait for.
One thing these birds teach us is to live in the moment and just breathe ❤️
Round and round
Tumbling and twirling
Swirling and twirling
Endless thoughts going
Around and around
These endless thoughts
Pulling us in every direction
No idea which is up
And which way is down
I wish these thoughts
Would just be still
And not so loud
Why are they shouting at me?
Will these loud thoughts
ever be quiet?
There is too much noise
Going round and round
Round and round
Tumbling and twirling
Swirling and circling
Endless thoughts going
Around and around
Will I ever stop?
Wolfie:
Hello Darkness my old friend.
To contend with constant shadows, eternal nocturne your intent.
Your inspiration be it malevolent,
your aspiration be my end.
In the shade I’ve slumped in discontent, my heart it seemed condemned;
Corrupted, cursed, contorted,
Diminished, pulse aborted, this fractured faithful organ strong, but not supported,
It’s very presence you condescend.
Incessantly my heart thudding in my stomach,
sinking sullen it descends,
the suffering unimaginable, it sears to comprehend-
describable only as a blend of unabating laceration,
insidiously intertwined with psycho-physiological cement.
From brain to belly, your retched reach extends,
besieging, branching, bifurcate,
your broken brambles breach,
broadcasting backwards blasphemy, your subversive sermons preach,
a perversive perverts’ speech; I the choir to offend.
A voiceless flock of screamless criers,
coerced and muted-
Seamless wire.
Barbed the gag securing seeping scraps of broken smiles.
Admire at the black bleeding gums grinning grotty gritted teeth.
this weeping gash-
Each tooth cracked back in a backwards freak-show fashion,
this bent attired for my inner choir tightly fastened.
For my salvation we repent.
My sacred sanctum securely stowed,
the congregation sings a song so sordid
yet still stays silent, gazing up at the steeple elongating ’til the spire spikes.
This pernickety pacifier- two shattered lungs
concaved conspire:
Inhale…. Expire.
Inhale… Respire.
Darkness my old friend.
You stole the breath from my chest-
Now in turn? I’ll Inspire.
Brain Noise by Louise:
A thousand whispering voices,
Hundreds of doorbells ringing all at once,
Tens of banging pots and pans,
One tired me.
A thousand whirling questions,
Hundreds of negative thoughts,
Tens of counting to a hundred,
One frustrated me.
A thousand things to do,
Hundreds of them not that important,
Ten of them need doing yesterday,
One ‘done’ me.
A thousand voices yelling: ‘you’re nothing!’
Hundreds of voices screaming: ‘you’re worthless!’
Ten voices softly saying: ‘what you gonna do?’
One overwhelmed me.
Just shut up, shut up, shut up!
Just shhhh.
Just make it all go away.
Just take a minute to make the Brain Noise go away.